i’ve been “eating” bad foods all week…..
when i mean bad foods, i mean feeling like a bipolar emo SOB especially today!!!! i feel like im stressed out with everything….like school and fucken future….. and just frustrated at everything and everyone…kinda!! seeing my messy room made me want to pull all my unruly, crazy ass hair out!! and then i noticed my f’ed up hair which takes lots of patience to make it “pretty” and I obviously didnt hav the patience to even deal with it!!! so i was totally boiling…..-.-
i totally blame it on wht i had for breakfast today before going to the gym! I never eat actual breakfast because i’d rather catch 10 mins more of sleep than get to eat a full breakfast in peace. I totally ate two pieces of bread this morning…thats what started it all…….i never ever eat a “full” breakfast cuz i usually just run on a piece of candy and some water or just a piece of bread and until i’m done working out!! after eating it, i had a feeling today was gonna be an odd day….and while i was at the gym i just ran half of wht i usually do and walked off the other half….which is horrible bcuz in the beginning i’m seriously dripping frm sweat, then i slow down and start to walk and thats when i’m pretty much soaking in my own sweat!! thats another thing i never do!!!!! i was totally thinking i shouldn’t walk as fast as i usually do and wear myself out cuz i hav to go hiking tomorrow for my field trip and I hav no clue how far we’re gonna walk… having sore legs r going to kill me…-.- and thats probably y i’m feeling like fucken’ shit right now! i run on the treadmill like a crazy ass bitch who doesn’t give a crapt bcuz it helps me relieve stress and i feel so much better after tht….and apparently…i just let all that leftover stress build up inside instead of burning it all off. its pretty much burning all my old energy so that i could start a fresh.
it probably didn’t help that i was wearing a t-shirt at the f’en school library where it started to get cold and i had no hoodie with me…..which equals dumbo. the weathers been odd lately…windy..hot…scorching…w.e…..and then being at the f’en school library screws my immune system even more and i’m in there quite often too!!!! like a a couple posts back when i felt like i was getting sick..well..that how i feel right know….my head was throbbing like crazy but its kinda going away after i stood in the shower for quite some time with warm water splashing at my face like those shower scenes guys hav in korean dramas and after i had some dinner and opened the damn window in my room so that i wouldn’t feel stuffed and suffocated, im starting to feel a lot better. listen to music totally helps too!!!
typing this all down is totally helping me keep sane. this helps me relieve stress too, yay!since i can’t express this verbally, i’ll do it my typing it all down.
most of the time i try to keep sane mentally and psychically but sometimes i explode, bcuz IAM HUMAN!!! i’ve had ppl ask me if i’m ever sad or anything bcuz they always see me all cheery and smiley and the whole enchilada..but thats my personality!! like i said I’M FUCKEN HUMAN!!!! of course i feel “sad” during some points of my life -.- lol…its kinda funny. but yes MOST of the time im all :D but rarely i do get cranky and mad and frustrated at the little-est things.
i’m not necessarily a bottle-it-up inside type of a person or a person that expresses how they feel freely…it totally varies depending on the situation, my patience, and all that for me. iono….sometimes i can let it build up inside but if ur the one that makes it overflow….im not gonna let u off!!!!!!! and i mean it. sometimes i let little things get to me..then i let it go and it just happens to build up when i don’t actually realize it.
my weeks been a emotional roller coaster but my friends hav been keeping me in check…once i see them and we hang out i forget about all the things that dragged me down earlier. w.o them iono wht i’d do….they make me laugh no matter what!!!!
i think thats enough of my rambling and ranting. i feel so much better typing out how i feel about my day today and how i feel sometimes…..
i hav to wake up super early tmrw, i hav 3 eesays due, i hav a test on monday….. seriously FML!!! i’m running out of time and im a emo bastard who cant concentrate on krapt right now.
i think im gonna have to “slow down, take a step back, and smell the roses” once in awhile.
i remember mentioning “WORK HARD, PLAY HARD” in my last post..but that doesn’t mean i’m giving it all up!!
i’m NOT giving up no matter wht….
i mean this is life….giving up is never gonna be a solution in the game of life.
anyways, i seriously can’t concentrate at all right now cuz i totally freaked out that i forgot to do an assignment online thats due sunday….today is friday ughhhhh…..
need to go to bed way early compared to my 2-3 am!!! -.-
i hav some pics to post but i just don’t hav the concentration for them right now….
probably in my next post and I will definitely take lots of pics during my trip tmrw with BFF “S”. we’re both excited… so hoping for some great weather where only rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns exist! LOL! according to weather.com, its gonna be 71 degrees with 20% of precipitation. omg…71 is kinda cold….hav no clue wht im gonna wear and i have no lunch packed -.-
i’ll figure everything out eventually……
bye and sweet dreams.
i have Even in my dreams by G.O stuck in my head again….so gonna play it now, its so gooood :)
